Understanding Reactive Dogs: 7 Lessons I Learned After Losing My First Dog

An open letter to the strangers:

Dear Stranger,

I see you at the corner of the park, looking down on us when my reactive dog barks at the moving cars. I see your judgmental eyes when my dog takes a step back, seeing another dog approaching or kids running. I see your unempathetic stare when I fail to calm my dog down, triggered by a loud noise. I wonder what you are thinking? But I would rather tell you what you are not thinking.

Understanding reactive dogs takes a lot of patience and courage rather than just tagging them as bad dogs. As many of us pet parents cannot understand what is going on with our pets, even though we give them all the love in the world. Sometimes, we also question ourselves, “Is it my fault my dog is reactive?” We did not know what was happening when our dog flings, jumps, barks at things that are not there or to a slight sound, doorbell or a knock of the door. Maybe we thought our dog was difficult to handle, or disobedient or just broken…. but we never pay heed to their mental health. do we? I was once of those people, not knowing what was causing this. I loved my dog dearly, but failed to understand the early signs of reactivity in dogs.

As I did not know the concept of dog reactivity, I missed the true meaning of understanding reactive dogs. I paid a heavy price for this by losing my dog, not to illness or accidents, but to misunderstanding. So, this letter is for you, the one watching us from the sidelines, but most importantly for those like me who are still figuring this out. If you are reading this article to the end, you will get a clear insight about where the problem lies and solve it.

Understanding Reactive Dogs: My Journey as a Reactive Dog Mom

When I first brought my pup home, she was neither aggressive nor was she fearful. She was a playful pup, full of life, running here and there. Sometimes I wondered, is it my fault, my dog is reactive? During walks, she started getting anxious around moving cars appeared as something she was afraid of. That’s when I started my research on early signs of reactivity in dogs. At that time, I had no understanding of the reactive dog behaviour or the difference between a reactive dog and an aggressive dog. I did not know that anxiety in dogs can masquerade as bad behaviour or that training missteps could result in such escalating dog reactivity, sometimes misdiagnosed as dog aggression.

Eventually, I understood that leash reactivity is a sign of fear or frustration rather than mere disobedience. Hart and King, (2023) advocated the fact that the barrier of a leash can escalate the fearfulness or frustration, pushing the reactivity of the chart and resulting in lunging or barking even more.

Eventually, I started noticing the change in her. She started fearlessly barking at kids and elderly people during our walks. But she was very friendly with other humans. She started reacting to the doorbell, to a normal person passing by, even to sounds like footsteps or someone talking outside my home. I was totally confused and in utter depression, as I was unable to help my dog have a common, peaceful life.

Reading the Insights about reactive dogs from Cornell’s Canine Health Center, It appears to me that How early experiences socialisation gaps and sensory overload tend to trigger reactive dog behaviour. I was ashamed To admit that losing my soul dog to tick fever made me overprotective. And my fear kept me from socialising my new pup or trusting her with anyone else. I started to think that I may have a bigger role to play behind her being a reactive dog, but I was wrong.

I wasn’t ready to accept it at first. But over the time, I moved Myself from misunderstanding to awareness which helped me change how I saw her and how I responded. I began noticing the subtle signs of anxiety stress and fear. Things I had once overlooked. And her reactions were just barking or lunging they were pleas for help. I learnt to read her body language to recognise the cues behind every sound. She reacted too. And instead of panicking in those moments, I stood down, shocking my voice and offered calmness when she needed it most.

But the journey was not smooth!

I reached out to Page trainers in behaviourist people like trusted to guide you, but most of them quickly levelled her as aggressive pushing me towards utter disappointment. They focused on counting how many times she had lunch or barked, or whether she had beaten someone, but very few asked why. No one seemed to dig deeper into the root cause what she was trying to communicate beneath her reactions.. That left me disheartened and more determined than ever to find the answer myself.

So I dove into research books personal case studies and experiences from other dog parents like me. I realised I wasn’t alone, but many pet parents, even after hiring top trainers or dog psychologists, still find themselves lost. Spending time and money without truly understanding dogs.

That’s my point of sharing my journey with you. If you’re reading this and your dog struggles with reactivity, I want you to know that you are not failing. You don’t need to fix your dog. You need to understand them. I adjusted her working routines. I built a system that made sense for her needs and over nearly a year. I began to see transformation. She became more grounded, more aware and so much more calmer and obedient. This post is for every bit parent who feels helpless, judged or overwhelmed.

I have been there And it is only through patients, empathy and consistent care. I found a path forward, not perfect, but peaceful. Let me walk you through what I’ve learned about understanding a reactive dog, especially if you are just starting out.

Early Signs of Reactivity in Dogs

Understanding reactive dogs has become so important as One of the hardest part of being a reactive dog parent isn’t just managing your dog’s behaviour, but it’s dealing with the judgement from others. Whether its a neighbour who scoffs when your dog barks at busing cars or a fellow pit parent at the park who mutters something under their breath. When your dog flinches near their child, even though you were aware and active in preventing such situations, the lack of awareness around dog reactivity is disheartening.

When I first started noticing certain behaviours in my dog, I even didn’t understand what was happening. She wasn’t aggressive she wasn’t disobedient she was trying to communicate discomfort stress and anxiety in the only way she could. But back then, like many others, I didn’t have the tools or the language to decode it.

Here are some early signs of reactivity in dogs i witnessed

Reacting to moving cars: Whether it was a speeding vehicle or even a bicycle, she would lunge or bark, clearly triggered by the motion and noise.

Reacting to children or unfamiliar people: Whether kids are running our people approaching too fast,this would make instantly put her in defensive mode.

Reacting to other dogs: Walks became stressed because she would bark or pull if another dog got too close,even if they were friendly.

Startled easily by unexpected sounds: A loud door slam or a sudden horn, or even a doorbell could send her into a spiral of barking and facing.

Hypervigilance during walks: Her ears were always perked, eyes constantly scanning, even a rustling leaf could spark a reaction. This stemmed from an underlying anxiety in dogs, especially in new or stimulating environments.

Avoiding or registering certain routes: She hesitates or pulls back when we walk towards certain areas, which might be realised that she had started associating specific spots with past triggers, like started by a sudden dog attack, or encountering loud noise of running children here and there.

Pacing and winding indoors: It didn’t happen everyday. But on days when she failed over stimulated outside, she brought that tension back home indicating dog reactivity extends beyond the leash.

Why does it matter? Because so often reactive dogs are misjudged as aggressive dogs, and their parents are viewed as if they lack control. Reactive dogs are not something to be controlled, but to be understood, and as a responsible pet parent, we must understand our Dogs, whom we consider our children.

What Causes Dog Reactivity

Before understanding reactive dogs, it is important to know the sources that triggers reactivity in dogs. Reactivity in dogs doesn’t stem from disobedience or a bad temperament. As McEvoy et al. (2022),highlighted that it often comes from a mix of dog anxiety, triggers, genetic predispositions, past trauma or missed early socialisation opportunities. Understanding why some dogs are reactive is the first step towards healing for both you and your pet.

Some dogs are genetically wired to be more sensitive to sound, sudden movements or unfamiliar environments. Breeds, in this case, play a significant role as there are certain nature or characteristics that differentiates one breed from another. Breeds that are developed for guarding or hoarding, for instance, may display heightened alertness, which can sometimes be mistaken for aggression. J Howell et al. (2015) stated that the lack of safe exposure during their early developmental periods, 3-14 weeks, and these traits can evolve into full blown leash reactivity or fear based behaviours in adulthood.

Another significant Source of dog reactivity is the traumatic or over protective experience when dogs who experience trauma, severe illness or like in many cases, parental over protection may develop heightened vigilance and stress responses. This can contribute to what I later recognised as dog anxiety triggers. Even well, meaning avoidance of socialisation due to fear can compound anxiety over time.

Sometimes stress from over stimulating environments plays a significant role as urban dog, specially in busy cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore or Kolkata and mostly New Yorkers in the US often face constant sensory overload like traffic noises, honking crowds, moving cars, which provoke dog reactivity to certain extent. Carrieri-Rocha et al., (2020), Highlighted that high decibel levels may trigger stress response or release reactivity, where the dog lurches at stimuli due to barrier induced tension. Overtime consistent overload can cement anxious habitats as well.

To answer the question. Why do dogs become reactive? It is important to understand that if such behaviour or the observation left unaddressed, the factors compound may begin Arise as slight fear that can escalate into full blown reactive behaviour over months, especially on leash where the dog cannot escape the stimulus.

Tools Helped Me Manage Dog Rectivity

While dealingwith the early signs of reactivity in Dogs or understanding a reactive dog, I made a list of tools that would help me onn the long journey of helping my dog. First of all I opted for with style hardness instead of martingale collars or head halters, as it gave her a secure pressure free fit that didn’t trigger her anxiety much. As Klippe(2014) supports, dogs under stress respond better when their movement isn’t restricted in fear-induced ways.

This padded vest for dogs has helped me in maintaining the security and calmness of my reactive dog, while giving her the freedom to walk without facing the barriers of martingale collars, or any other tools that are generally used for reactive or aggressive dogs. This has also helped me build a trust relationship with my reactive dog, as it clearly sent a message lot of control, but of support.

Padded Dog Vest

Instead of raising my voice whenever the situation got out of my hands, I focused on reading her body language, staying calm and offering a verbal reassurance with a calm voice, which built emotional resilience in a reactive dog. In this journey. The Popsicle treat trays have significantly helped me as I could offer Treats infused with Natural ingredients, curd, cucumber, and watermelon to my reactive dog to soothe her overly active brain.

Pupsicle Treat Tray

Chamomile tea is another great audition to my reactive dog management tool. Chamomile contains apigenin, Which is a mildly natural sedative and helps a reactive dog relax their nerves Shoot their mind. In the form of a frozen chamomile tea treat or ice cube I have seen significant changes in my reactive dog’s mood.

Camomile Tea

Before and after walks, I gave her puzzle feeders or licking mats, which have helped me tremendously in calming her down and reducing her mental anxiety that builds up due to the stimulus of the environment. As Thippeshappa et al. (2012) suggested that licking for dogs would help promote mental stimulation. It would help her calm down, and a technique supported by the study highlights how canine congnitive enrichment helps in reducing the ongoing stress and anxiety in dogs and increasing positive behaviour.

Lick Mats & Puzzle Feeders

Another important aspect that I realised and observed in my reactive dog is that whenever she is sleeping better, she is having fewer reactions to the outer environment, and this led me to use a lavender oil diffuser in my reactive dog management tool. As Graham et al (2005) have advocated that lavender oil helps in reducing cortisol levels, which is also known as a stress hormone in dogs, while it promotes calm behaviour without sedation. Most importantly, it helps in promoting a good sleep for dogs, which eventually helps in improving their nervous system and regulating good sleep.

Lavender Oil Diffuser

Along with this, I have also included several other techniques like (long leash, healthy nutrition, desensitization traning and relationship building) and tools that I would definitely talk about in my next blog.

It’s Okay to Feel Overwhelmed

If you’re feeling frustrated, exhausted or even like you’re failing, I want you to know that you are not alone, and you are not failing your dog. Just by being here, reading this article, seeking to understand, rather than control, you have already taken a powerful step forward, and you are showing up for your dog in a way many would not. That is not failure, that is courage.

As a reactive dog mom, I have been on the edge of burning out from self-doubt or of questioning if I’m the right person for this journey. If you’re having the same doubts, trust me, you’re on the right path, as you’re not giving up. Remember, progress doesn’t always look perfect. Some days will be harder than others. But the love you have and the effort you are putting in matter more than you know. Hold on to your dogs, hold on to their fears. Whether your puppy is high energy, reactive or struggling with anxiety, they are not broken. They just need someone willing to understand them.

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